BLOOMINGTON - Ruscenda Jackson can finally look in the mirror and love what she sees. The 45-year-old Bloomington resident has been sober for almost three years and is living her life with purpose. That wasn't always the case.

"At one point I placed no value on my life," she said, explaining she "drove drunk all the time" before serving 10 months of a two-year prison sentence for drunken driving.

Though she was happy to be released from prison about eight years ago, the experience was bittersweet.

"I was happy to be released, but was full of rage. They give more respect to a stray dog on the street than a prisoner," she recently told a group of McLean County community leaders studying ways to improve ex-offender reintegration into society.

Reintegration for Jackson includes working as a certified nursing assistant at the McLean County Nursing Home and dreams of someday becoming a drug abuse counselor.

She figures she's got a head start at the counselor gig because she used to abuse drugs.

"When you have been through it, you know the game," she said.

The Chicago native has been through quite a lot, including being in and out of foster homes as a child, abusive relationships and getting in trouble with the law. She fell back into old ways for awhile after prison.

However, about three years ago, the mother of four decided enough was enough and turned her life over to God.

It wasn't easy.

"I didn't know how to get started," she said. "When you are an alcohol and drug abuser for many years it's hard to let go."

Part of that process included separating from family and friends who were a bad influence. There also were more mundane tasks that needed attention, such as getting a job and finding a place to live.

"How can you get a decent place to live if you can't get a job?" asked Jackson, who was sentenced to prison in a Champaign County case.

Though she has a job and a one-bedroom apartment, she noted employers aren't eager to hire ex-offenders.

Looking to change the realities

That's one of the realities the community leaders who met last month at Bloomington's Second Presbyterian Church want to change.

They also would like to improve ex-offender's access to education, housing, mentoring, health and legal assistance.

"We exist solely to try to help ex-offenders be restored to useful citizenship," said retired McLean County Circuit Judge Ron Dozier, president of Joy Care Center.

The center, along with PATH, sponsored the meeting where Jackson spoke. The group included a cross section of society, including the legal system, police and social service agencies. More meetings are planned.

While the group studies ways to improve reintegration, statistics from the Illinois Department of Corrections show why doing so is important. The statistics reveal about 391 ex-offenders returned to McLean County after serving time in state prisons last year.

If these ex-offenders don't successfully reintegrate into society, they'll return to prison and that's "not what we want," said IDOC spokesman Derek Schnapp.

Already, Illinois has a recidivism rate of about 52 percent, he said, meaning just over half of those leaving prison return within three years.

For many ex-offenders, reintegration remains a vicious cycle of disappointment. They serve their time, but can't lead productive lives after leaving prison.

Dozier said while not all ex-offenders can be helped, "when you serve your time you deserve a second chance."

Helping ex-offenders like Jackson reintegrate into society is important for two main reasons, he said. First, returning them to prison is costly. Secondly, "these are real people not living productive lives," he said.

Jackson is succeeding because of her intense desire to turn her life around, said the Rev. John Brown, who was among those who heard Jackson speak.

"She's a fighter. She is really driven to do the right thing and that's the key," said Brown.

Having people in her corner doesn't hurt, either.

Jan Valdes, a BroMenn Healthcare employee, has been mentoring Jackson for about two years. "I didn't realize all the roadblocks that ex-offenders have," said Valdes.

"They say you pay your debt to society, but when you come out you continue to pay," said Jackson.